Surfing
I went surfing for the first time in my life today. It's an action-packed fun activity. While people have difficulty of keeping themselves balanced on the board at the beginning of trying, I had my difficulty of keeping the board sticking with me. I think I wasn't strong enough to hold it tightly (I don't really want to see my board drift away, or I will go with it coz there's a rope from the board tied on my foot.) First trying was scary coz I was unexpectedly encountered with a big wave, and my bikini almost went off right in front of everybody. The second time was stupid, coz no one taught me how to surf, and I was afraid of big waves. So I was like a fool who keep lying on the board far from where the waves occur. And I wasn't moved any a little bit, just like a dead fish stranded near the shore. I believe no one surf there. Besides, as soon as I stepped into the sea, I fell off by tripping over the rope. Both made me a complete surfing idiot. Under the guide of my boyfriend, the third time was even horrible. He brought me to where the big waves occur (and the waves were big enough to scare the little lamb out of me.) I wasn't have enough time to jump on the board for several times. And the experience ended in chaos. Albeit I never successfully stand on the board, I did surf myself with lying flat on it. The speed was unexpectedly quicker than I expected. Surfing is really cool and awesome! But it gets you all the bruises.
Claire's surfing photos
Link
I can't believe I successfully set up the linkage for my blog (as you can see on the sidebar where some linkage locate.) I must be genius because I don't understand the cyber knowledge, but even a bit. All I know is how to turn on/off the laptop and get myself on-line, such basic operation. I'm still in the extreme excitement now that I need a new post to record my emotional climax. hahaha....(feel implicitly satisfied) For those people who take cyber world as their daily life (I'm talking about you, Jimmy), you can't understand my joy because you can never imagine how difficult for me such a computer idiot to get done the set-up thing. Just let me enjoy in it....
The first linkage "French mommy" is a Chinese website written by an admirable women who married to a French man and now has a little French boy (going to have another girl in this August.) You can smell a strong style of independence from her words and lines, which inspired me a lot. The second linkage "Sketching April" is from my best female mate, who is going to leave me for Scotland in July. Both of us stayed in Sydney for a year and we share a lot of things in common. The third linkage "Jimmy" is from my good male mate. His blog talks profound content and got good writes-up. Jimmy is a good philosopher.
p.s. I went to a hip-hop dance workshop tonight. I wasn't really concentrated so felt dancing like an octopus. I'm thinking about trying New Jazz these days.
Do you believe in soul mate?
My boyfriend and I talked about soul mate today. I said I believe in soul mate and I believe I have one as well. He believes in it but he doesn't have one because he doesn't feel comfortable revealing his personal things to people, as he told me. We kept the conversation for two hours long and I discovered several things that is important to me:
1. I've changed a lot:
The one-year time in Sydney has changed my value for loads. I'm no longer the person I used to be -- whereas I was nervous, intensive, workholic or neurotic. I used to care a lot about how people think of me or judge me, so I work hard to present the best part of myself -- no matter in appearance, the acedemic performance, my life or everything. And I realized it's really tiring to keep that attitude in living because you have always need to live your life with endless worries. The pressure might help me reach to the 'success' that people think I am great or even perfect in my performance. But that also makes me isolated and alienated. I have to worry about how do I impress others constantly. That attitude is extremely unhealthy and negative. I used not to believe in soul mate because I only believe in myself. In other words, I can't trust other people. I reckon that's one of the reasons why I felt isolated before because I could never reveal my weakness that might ruin my 'seemingly perfect' image. But so what if you are really looking perfect? I realized I was just creating an image or feeling that I think people might envy me which could satisfy my vanity. And that's extremely stupid and funny.
2. I fell in love with the old-me?
After dating my current boyfriend for almost two years, I realized he has a very traditional mindset under his camouflage of fashonable look. With the Asian-culture background, his characteristics reveals the chauvinism that I found from my dad, in which he hardly expresses his emotion to people because that would destroy his masculine image, and that he believes it's men's duty to take care of women in terms of assuming the responsibility of house purchase or earning the life for the family etc. Frankly speaking, I felt I knew him for long when I just met him because he carries the personality that I used to have (and that makes it easy to understand him!) Just like the old me, he cares a lot about how people think of his performance, his appearance or everything. But it is weird that I fall in love with him. Does it mean that I fall in love with the old me? That's really yucky and disturbing coz I thought I've got over of myself already....
Or maybe we just get attracted by the persons that have opposite personlity to ours. (it's better to think in this way)
3. I became a coward
It has been 3 months after I left the PR agency I used to work for. I quit that job with the reason that I need to prepare for my GRE exam, which would take place in mid-June. But I found I didn't even prepare for it although three-month time has been passed. I realized I didn't quit my job for the exam preparation, but instead, for escaping from that work. But I didn't have the guts to tell my surpervisor the real reasons. I became such a coward that I started worrying about how they think of me if I've ever told them the truth and how people would judege me. Meanwhile, I really have to admit that preparing for GRE really undermined my confidence in English. For the first time in my life, I felt panic when facing such a big work of language learning. I even felt I've reached to my bottom line and can never ever come across the barrier. Then I became such a coward that I gave up trying the new things. It took me three months to realize these.
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After the discovery of these issues, I felt myself gaining back the bravery that I had -- a strong belief that tells me to stand firm and move on no matter being encountered with how many obstacles. As what my good friends told me, I have to always remember this feeling of power, for it would bestows me with the incentives and will to move on, to grow up.
I feel I get more understanding of myself today.
culture difference
I went to work tonight for teaching and occassionaly met one of my good friends there. So we went for a coffee and light food after work. There was a long conversation between us from 9 to the midnight. It's much about the reminiscences on the life that we spent in Sydney (both of us stayed there for a year.)
Honestly, I've been feeling uncomfortable living in Taipei, where the people holds distinct value to the western culture, after I came back. I never expect the one-year time in Sydney would have such influential impact on me, wherever in values or life style. I realized my uncomfortable feeling comes from the fact that I have to constrain my behaviour to be in accordance with the Asian culture, which requests for the homogenious grouplism instead of the Western individualism. Talking to her reminds me of many wonderful things that I used to have, such as the courage to move on and to pursuit what I want despite all the possible obstacle. Many thanks to you A., my friend, for encouraging me. I gonna miss you loads although you insist on leaving me for Scotland in July. Thank you *hug*
** In order to avoid the stupid thing that my water bottle spill over again in my bag, I finished it COMPLETELY this time before I put it in. And my mobile survived.... :)
my mobile got drown in my bag
I've been backing to my ordinary teaching job these days since I left the PR agency I worked for. It is lovely to teach English.
The stupid thing happened that I almost drown my mobile in my bag today, as the THIRD time in my life. It's idiotic enough to forgot closing the lid of the water bottle well. So the water spill over, and my mobile got drenched. I hope it would survive, so I won't need to spend money to get a new one.
Honestly, it is truely embarrasing to hear my colleagues ask me "Claire, why is your bag dropping water?" I would never tell'em the truth.
Critiques on Taiwanese media
The issue of the death of the entertainer Ni (倪敏然) has reaching to a climax in the society recently. The relevant reportage has been presented via all the media for almost a week. I do feel sorry for Ni's death, for the sorrow that his family and fans have to pay, and that Taiwan loses a creative and versatile artist. However, I strongly disagree with the attitude of the media in Taiwan, which overdeveloped the issue into an overblown matter, and meanwhile, adulterated the value in the society. Media should comprehend that their power can dominate the way that audience receive the information, further, to influence their judgement. The issue today is about Ni's suicide due to his personal relationship/work/life problems rather than things like the sacrifice for the society, in which, I don't see the necessity for the media to bring this issue into the unbroken follow-ups, especially that one of the possible reasons for his death -- his affairs with the other woman aside from his wife -- should never be widely reported by media in terms of another form of encouragment to justify the suicide behaviour. The media should be responsible for educating people that it is positive for us to learn to face the reality rather than seeking the death as the solution to problems. The media should also teach the society the correct morality that it is truely wrong to have an affair, instead of making him into some of the perfect hero. I do feel sorry for his past-away, and I believe the soceity does as well. However, I am very upset and disappointed about the maturity of the media in Taiwan, which has blinded the audience and took away the healthy and positive attitude that the audience could have had
