Clairewhispers

Breakdown

Filled with lassitude, my day was quite fucked up with a nerve breakdown today, which made me cried. I guess half reason is from the pressure of the GRE exam that is set to take place tomorrow. And the other half is from the sorrow of losing friends.

I met two of my good female mates, A. and J., last week. It was a weird feeling to see J. after such a long seperation. Lots of things has happened during the past months and she's changed a lot. I was keen to help her out her shitty problems but I gave up at the end. I guess I was kind of nervous while talking to her that day because we used to be so close and now she's like a total stranger to me. And that dissapoints me a lot.

A. is leaving Taiwan for Scotland in a few weeks for her advanced study. I never know her leave would influence me so much but it does. I felt quite sad about it actually. As growing older, I feel it's harder to find true friends. And it's never easy for me. I was hit by a strong Sydney nastalgia when I returned back to Taiwan years ago. It was truely difficult for me overcome the re-adjustment obstacle beacuse all my good friends were all abroad by that time. I was lonely and helpless for a while. I guess A.'s leave reminds of me of that feeling. And I am really scared about the loneliness.

Thanks Simon, my dear boyfriend, who has been a great spiritual support to me while I was down. I know I became quite emotional lately, but you always know how to cheer me up. Thanks A. for inspiring me all the time and sharing all the bads and goods with me. I'm still glad for your move-on. And I believe you'll be successful in the future. Just remember I love you and that would never fade away. And I would also want to say to J. that I miss you a lot. Hope I'll see you soon and I'll see a bright smile on your face then. :)

posted by Claire @ 12:12 AM