Clairewhispers

bravery

One of mom's good friend was told to have the breast cancer lately. I think this worth writing because she is so brave in my eyes.

She's my mom's ex-colleague, a really young woman having two daughters studying in primary school. She's one those people who live in a regular happy life without any pernicious habits. But it turned out to be malignant tumors, and the tumor cell is growing its extension to her lymphatic system. Hence, cobalt 60 therapy is inevitable. Mom cried when she told her the bad news. She just shrugged and smiled like it never happen. I can sense that could probably be the hardest smile ever, and the only smile, which made my mom cried harder.

She's sort of the happy-go-lucky person, who is always so optimistic about everything. So she went to a trip with her family and came back to town to start the therapy treatment. She and mom met up for coffee days ago (they have coffee chat every other week as routine.) She told mom that she started to lose hair. "Aren't you frightened?" she was asked. "Well, a little bit at the beginning when I saw the first pinch of hair I combed down," she answered with stirring her black tea serenely. Then mom was aware that she has quit her coffee addiction these days because coffee gave her dark colour urine.

I think she's really brave and I can never be so optimistic like her if I were the one who suffered. I believe most of us feel frightened when facing death. We might have the breakdown or tuck ourselves into desperate trauma. Me would be a good case that I've been pretty much buggered these days about the interruption in my normal life caused from the illness. And her story taught me a lot. I remembered I had been to a lecture talking about life & death when I was in college. The lecturer asked each of us to talk about the time management if we only had 3 months left. Every one was quiet at the beginning. I think all of us never think about this issue in our life, and it appeared more difficult once we really need to do it. Then after the month-long discussion, I found most of the people choose to do nothing, but spend time with friends and family like what we are living right now. I reckon that kind of tranquil pattern of life would probably be the most precious thing for ill people. So I should be happier because I'm having that life right now, isn't it?

Somehow, I still feel fxxked up.

May every one with healthy and happiness life.

posted by Claire @ 11:51 PM